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This is a tribute to the Marine Lance Corporal and their peers alike….

Holy fucking monkey shit LCpl, I’m so glad that you checked in!!! Your an
18yr old World of Warcraft Master that barely slimed your way through boot
camp and now think your the toughest thing since a level 37 dark elf with a
bow staff…..congrat-u-fuckin-lations retard you’ve already made my
shitlist!

Perhaps it’s the fact that you checked in 20 minutes late with no shave and
an HM1 haircut wearing the newly acquired “ChAlphas” uniform that has become
so popular within your nasty LCpl cult. Or maybe it’s that your eagles are
flying upside down and your “Welcome to the Corps” ribbon is on the wrong
side of your uniform there genius. Whatever the fuck it is, know now, that
me and you are about to become best fucking friends.

Mommy and Daddy are probably under the impression that you are a bad ass
rough and tough leatherneck, eating nails and fighting wars…don’t they?!?
Well I know the truth! You’re an untested, undisciplined, lying, immature
little weasel who can’t even keep a clean room or a squared away uniform.
You’ll end up going to medical to get out of PT while simultaneously surfing
the web on “Military Love Links” with a stupid ass screen name like
“MonsterMarine” or “Jarhead4Life”. You’ll end up with a laminated light duty
chit for some retarded unheard of medical condition while you try to explain
to me “but Gunnery Sergeant, the doc says that my metamusel ligament is
twisted behind my left calf”. Whatever bitch boy…shut your cum dumpster
and get out of my face.

Here’s the thing bag nasty, just know that when you get off limp dick
duty….I plan on having your little whiney ass drug through the dirt. The
thought of watching you vomit after half a mile while Sgt Waddle and Sgt
Yarbrough make crude comments about your mothers vagina makes me smile! Then
I’ll get some lame ass allegation against me for hazing like I even give a
shit…I hope you choke and die on your own vomit.

You’ll end up with a DUI or you’ll pop on a piss test and give some lame ass
excuse trying to shift the blame while taking absolutely NO responsibility
for your own retarded actions. I can hear it now…”but Gunnery Sergeant,
somebody else cooked the brownies, I didn’t know there was any weed in
them”. You think I’m stupid? You’re the only one here that was born
yesterday shit stain.
That’s because your a useless arrogant LCpl Shithead.

You’ll meet the first skanky, low self-esteem, no self-respect slut that
spreads her Herpa-syphilitis infected legs for you and propose marriage
after the first fuck. I can already hear it…”things are different gunnery
Sergeant, I really love her and she loves me”. The only thing that she loves
are your friends and your paycheck and the only thing that your confused,
inexperienced little dick loves is her nasty vagina…that’s it….and
she’ll probably have 4 kids from 3 different dads (one of which is still
pending the results of a DNA test on some white trash talk show). You’ll
give me some LCpl retarded justification like “Gunny, her kids love me, I
think I’m the first male influence they have had in their lives”. That’s
because all of the other influences were a lot more intelligent than your
dumb ass. That’s good to fucking go though, here I thought you were fucking
a nasty, money-stealin skank and here you are the fuckin hero….my
apologies, I’ll know better the next time around.

You’ll buy two 30,000 dollar cars (both of which need rims, TV’s, and a
sound systems) or a Hyabusa although you’ve never ridden in your nasty
little lifetime. And your going to do it all on a 24,000 dollar a year
salary. Why are you going to do this LCpl shit for brains? Because you’re a
retarded LCpl that’s why. When you get so in debt that you can’t pay your
rent, utilities, cable, or credit cards, your creditors are going to find me
and I will be FORCED kicking and screaming to sit down and do a financial
worksheet FOR YOU (which you’ll lie on, so it doesn’t fuckin help you
anyway).

Then comes the DUI…dumbass. You spent your night at the bar, getting
wasted with the boys and trying to cheat on your wife with some out of shape
barracks rat LCpl cult member, while your wife gets railed from behind by 2
of your friends back in the barracks. Now I’m asleep at home when my
annoying phone goes off at 2 a.m and who do you think it is? Yes indeed it’s
you, sobbing like the little bitch that you are, tossed in the drunk tank
and awaiting me to bail you out….now I gotta call the Master Sergeant to
explain why my leadership failed you. I hate you Lance Corporal….I hate
you!

$12,000, two lawyers, a divorce, and two repo-ed cars later, I see you
smoking a cigarette with your fellow fucking failure LCpl cult members out
at the smoke pit…..complaining about how the Corps fucked you, how you
gotta pay child support, your credits fucked cause you got NJP’ed and lost
money, how you’re an alcoholic and how you blame it all on PTSD although
your retarded ass has never deployed. I hate you Lance Corporal, I fuckin
hate you with all my heart. The fact that you wear the same uniform as me,
grinds against my very being. The fact that I have to walk you through life
like you’re a baby who’s learning how to talk, makes me bitter with rage. I
wish I could kick you in your fucking teeth. I wish I could kick you out
into the street to find your own way and watch you fail at life without the
big brother baby sitting Corps.

You can thank Mothers Of America, which mommy is probable a proud member of,
along with some liberal faggots for preventing me from breaking your ass
down shotgun style and taking a ratchet to your skull while beating some
damn sense into your brain housing group…because lord knows I fantasize
about that ALL day! One day LCpl…one day.

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2. Do You Trust Me

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How to Order a Beer in Fifty Languages

“Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.” –Dave Barry

If there’s one universal constant in human society, it has to be alcohol. Rare indeed is the culture that hasn’t worked out the tricksy process of fermenting and/or distilling some type of vegetable matter — be it malted barley, potatoes, honey or grape juice — into a brew containing a significant percentage, as the dictionary puts it, of an “organic compound in which a hydroxyl group is bound to a carbon atom of an alkyl or substituted alkyl group.” In other words, booze.

Among the mildest and most variable of these alcoholic beverages is that fine elixir known as beer. A true beer connoisseur would never pass up an opportunity to try the local brew, no matter where on Earth where they found themselves, and so it behooves the serious beerologist to know how to order a beer in as many languages as possible. That’s why we’ve taken it upon ourselves to provide you with a handy guide on how to order a beer in 50 different languages. Where the pronunciation isn’t obvious, or in which the term is normally written in non-Roman characters, we’ve rendered it phonetically. Cheers!

One beer, please!

Afrikaans A beer, ah-suh-bleef!
American Brewski here, please!
Arabic Waheed beera, meen fadleek!
Basque Garagardo bat, mesedez!
Belarusian Ad-no pee-vah ka-lee lah-ska!

“You can’t be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.” — Frank Zappa

Bengali Eka handoiya, doya koray!
Bulgarian Edna beerra, molya!
Catalan Una cervesa, si us plau!
Cheyenne Nok hee-sevo-tamah-peh, mas-eh-met-ah-no!
Chinese Ching gay woh ee bay pee joh!

“Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, ‘It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.’” — Jack Handy

Czech Pee-vo, pro-seem!
Danish Yay vil geh-neh heh en url!
Dutch Un beer, ahls-yer-bleeft!
Egyptian (Ancient) Wekha henqet!
Esperanto Unu bieron, mi petas!

“I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts, and beer.” — Abraham Lincoln

Estonian Ooks ur-loo, pah-lun!
Finnish O-loot moolek kee-tos!
French Une bière, s’il vous plait!
German Ein Bier, bitte!
Greek Mee-a beer-a paraka-loh!

“Remember: I before E, except in Budweiser.” – Anonymous

Hawaiian ‘Ekahi pia, ho’olu!
Hindi Eka biyara, krupaya!
Hungarian Edj pohar shurt kayrek!
Icelandic Ay-dn byohr, tahk!
Interlingua On bira, per favor!

“He was a wise man who invented beer.” — Plato

Irish Byohr awoyn, lyeh doh hull!
Italian Una birra, per favore!
Japanese Bee-ru ip-pon, ku-da-sai!
Korean Mayk-joo hahn-jahn, joo-se-yoh!
Kurdish Dan min yek bire!

“Give me a woman who loves beer, and I will conquer the world.” – Kaiser Wilhelm

Lakota (Sioux) Wan-jee m’nee-pee-gah, ee-yo-kee-pee!
Latin Cervisiam, sodes!
Lithuanian Pra-shau vie-na, al-lows!
Norwegian Ehn url, tahk!
Old English An beor, nu!

“24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?” — Stephen Wright

Pig Latin One-ay eer-bay, ease-play!
Polish Yed-no peev, proshe!
Portuguese Uma cerveja, por favor!
Romanian Oh beh-reh ver rohg!

We old folks have to find our cushions and pillows in our tankards. Strong beer is the milk of the old. – Martin Luther

Scots Gaelic Lyawn, mahs eh doh hawl eh!
Serbo/ Croatian Yed-no pee-vo, mo-lim!
Slovene Eno pee-vo, pro-seem!
Spanish  Una cerveza, por favor!
Swahili Moja pombe, tafadhali!

“I would give all my fame for a pot of ale and safety.” — Shakespeare, Henry V

Swedish Ehn irl, tahk!
Twi Mah-me bee-ye bah-ko, mee pow-che-oo!
Turkish Beer beer-ah, luht-fen!
Welsh  Koo-roh ohs gwel-ookh-un-thah!
Yiddish A beer, zeit a-zoy goot!

“Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.” — Dave Barry
Now so I do not get in trouble this was found at www.etiquettesystems.com/how-to-order-a-beer/

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Christmas day was spent at the in-laws in which the kids made out like bandits and we had a great feast in the evening.  Between opening presents and the feast I snacked and napped alot.  On Friday I loaded up the clan and took off for my grandmother’s house up north for visiting with her as well as my sister and parents who came out for Christmas.

After a few days of visiting and eating it was time to come back down to Southern California.  Unfortunately right before I left my dad and I noticed a tear in my back driver’s side tire.  I already had a bulge in my front driver’s side tire so I figured I better get a couple tires so that I could make the 500 mile drive safely.  I went down to Pep Boys and after looking at the rest of the tire I figured it was better to get 4 new tires.  So $556 and two hours later we finally we got back on the road and headed back down.

My son will be arriving from Phoenix tomorrow and he will get his Christmas presents from me and the rest of the family.  We will spend a few days runnin around and doing what dads and 7 year old boys do (pretty much driving my wife crazy).

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I definitely recommend the beer making kit.  I have one and it works great.  This beer is the best.  Check em out and good luck getting that perfect gift.

No related posts.

On Friday my wife got up early and went to Target and a few other places early.  Once she get back to the house I got my ass out of bed (baby slept in) and went and did my shopping.  I hit Best Buy, Kohl’s, Target, the mall, and Costco.  I can say that my Christmas shopping is 95% done.  Just have to get a few odds and ends and I already know what that is so I might just order it all online.

Saturday me and the wife went out and about and ran a few errands then took the baby over to the in-laws so we could go out.  Back in March I bought my wife some tickets to the Celine Dion concert for her birthday.  I was really counting on being deployed, but that didn’t happen.  So I had to sit through 3 hours of Celine Dion.  All in all the show wasn’t that bad but I am still not a Celine fan.

Sunday was a day that we were both able to sleep in as the kids were at gramma’s house and no one woe us up.  I spent the first part of the morning folding some clothes ad doing some laundry.  I then went out and did the weekly ritual of getting my haircut.  Ran to Wal-Mart for some stuff for my classic car then went and picked up the kids.

I got the old car running this afternoon and took her out to get a bath.  Once I got her all cleaned up and fueled up I came home and applied a nice coat of wax.  She is looking good and hopefully one of these days I will have the money to fix her up and make her all pretty (my wife needs to graduate and get a job).  Now I just have to get my bags packed for another two week trip out to 29 Palms.

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Halloween has always been one of my favorite days of the year no matter how old I am.  When I was a kid I used to love getting my costume on and heading out to go trick-or-treating.  I knew that I was going to get quite a large quantity of candy.  I also knew that there was going to be a dentist or some tree-hugging type that was going to give me an apple or some crap that I didn’t really want.  And occassionally there was the house with the old folks in it that would toss you a ziploc bag full of pennies (man I thought I was rich).

As I grew up and got “too old” for going out for candy me and my friends would find some type of mischief to get into.  Usually mischief included a hole bunch of toilet paper and either a friend or a teacher’s house.  Shaving cream was used on occassion as well (the gel is the hardest to clean off by the way.)  Once or twice it was my house that got hit but hey that was all the fun.

Once I got out of high school and joined the corps Halloween kinda lost its magic for a few years.  The first year I was in MCT.  The next year I was in Okinawa so we all hit the bar (wait that was every night).  Soon after though I was back in Cali for halloween and I realized really quickly that as you grow up and hit the bar scene Halloween is just an excuse for the chicks to dress as slutty as they can (I love that SoCal is still warm in Oct.)

Also while I was out on my own seeing the kids come and go from the house is great.  I love seeing the kids faces as you reach into a big bowl of candy and drop a huge handful into their bag or pumpkin or pillowcase or whatever they are collecting in.  I think it is great when a kid get imaginative and creates his or her own costume.  I even don’t mind the occassional “kid” that is just a little too old to really be out trick or treating as long as they have put some effort into it.  If you are over 13 and don’t out real effort into your costume you aren’t getting that huge handful from me.

Unfortunately this year I will not be able to partake in the festivities of Halloween with my children due to the fact that I am still up in NorCal visiting family after my grandfather passed away.  I am not going to get to see my two boy all dressed up though I know their mother’s will take pictures.  I am not going to get to see my little 3 year old niece all dressed up and out having a great time getting me to run all over the neighborhood to get her candy.  I also am going to miss the baby’s first Halloween though she is only 7 months old so she isn’t going to remember anyway and I know my wife will take many pictures of her all dressed up.

Hopefully in the small town that I am in I will have the opportunity to jump out of a bush or two and scare the crap out the kids (cuz that is just fun).  Hopefully I get to see a few kids out and about dressed up and going from house to house.  Either way tomorrow will be a great day because kids are going to be out and about and be happy.

Hope you all have a great and safe Halloween.

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BY REASON OF A FORECLOSURE ACTION AGAINST THE
LANDLORD, IS AUTHORIZED A FUNDED SHORT DISTANCE MOVE. THIS
PROVISION DOES NOT APPLY TO “SHORT SALES” OR IF A MEMBER AND/OR
DEPENDENT IS THE HOMEOWNER. THE SHORT DISTANCE MOVE FOR THE MEMBER
IS TO ANOTHER DWELLING FROM WHICH THE MEMBER IS TO COMMUTE DAILY TO
THE PERMANENT DUTY STATION (PDS).

All the service member needs to do is to take a copy of the eviction notice and if possible the landlord’s foreclosure notice. Due to the fact that formats vary from state to state there is no set format which needs to be turned in.

If you have any question concerning this contact your SJA or housing office for help.

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Currently the Pulgas Gate and the San Louis Ray gate are closed due to fires.  Interstate 5 was closed in both directions due to the fact that there was a grass fire on the highway.

Today liberty secured at noon and we were sent home at 1215 due to the fact that a fire had jumped a break and was headed toward us.  Hopefully the fires will be contained soon and everyone can get back to work tomorrow with no loss of life or property.  I will keep everyone posted on anything I hear.

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